Do Not Withhold Good

(Found this on my other blog the other day as I am trying to make sure I have moved everything to this new blog, and it was very convicting. I thought I would share it here. This happened over a year ago.)

Recently, after disciplining the kids, I told them that they would not be going to the library to get their reward (the library has their summer reading program going on right now and for every so many books you read, you get such and such prize).

My husband brought up the verse do not withhold good from those whom it is due.

So they went.

Today they were about to go out to get their prizes (again), and EE (4yr) throws a huge temper tantrum because there were papers in her seat. So Daddy brings her back inside (I was staying home with the baby to do some cleaning while he napped). He said that he would get the prize for her while he was at the library with her sisters.

We got upstairs and I discipline her and we pray. When we are done, she asks if she is going to get her prize today. I said no and she screamed. I said now you won't get it tomorrow either. She was still crying, but the screaming had stopped.

Then that Bible verse popped back into my head. EE really had earned her prize, do I really need to keep it from her? So I told her should would get it today.

It is amazing how much that calmed her. She had worked hard for something, and even though she was throwing a temper tantrum for a completely different reason, she was still getting that "good thing."

I just went upstairs to check on the baby, and EE is fast asleep. I know for certain that had I not told her she would get the toy, she would still be playing quietly in bed instead of napping. I truly believe she isn't napping because she "got her way." I don't think she got her way at all. In fat, I think if she had felt she had gotten her way, she would still be up and playing quietly in bed.

I do think, however, that when we apply Biblical principles to training our children it brings them peace. She works harder to please me when I am in line with God's word when disciplining and training her.

I also think it is important that the negative consequence FIT the negative behavior. In this case, my withholding the toy she had already worked hard to earn was not fitting the negative behavior. Boy it is harder than I realized to do that. It is easy to have negative consequences, but matching them up to the negative behavior is hard. But I think if I can get that down, there would be a lot more peace in this house.