Why...

I am so horribly ashamed. My house is just that ... a house. There is nothing special about it. There is no beauty to it, and the only beauty in it are my four darling children and wonderful husband).

Whenever I read about the life of a woman I admire and it is penned by someone who was a close friends of hers, I find it highly convicting when the author writes about the woman's house. She goes on and on about the beauty and comfort that abounded within.

I think back to when we were packing to move. It took no time at all to decide what would be packed into boxes for who knows how many months. And we lived well with almost 2/3 of our belongs packed away into storage for over 3 months.

And the house stayed clean! The kids were happy and content with what they had (2/3 less than they did previously). The house felt like a home...a haven.

And now, with everything unpacked, and knowing I have an over abundance of stuff...I freeze at knowing what to get rid of. Piles of laundry and stuff here and there because nothing has a place (a place for everything and everything in it's place). But I must keep it because I cannot do without it. Or can I? If we lived for over 3 months just fine on 1/3 of what we own, why do I struggle to get rid of the 2/3??

Is it security? That I *MIGHT* need it, and what to do if I don't have it? Is it some sort of hidden struggle I have to "always be prepared" or somehow I am trying to keep up with the Jonses? How can you organize and beautify stuff you are keeping ...just to keep it?

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Three things I am thankful for:
a house full of stuff
the knowledge that it is too much stuff
baby tushes in the air as they sleep tight