Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Being WITH Your Children

Last night I watched a PBS special on the dangers of the internet. The parents were so heartbroken at having lost the communication with their children.

It turns out that even though a lot of parents are worried about the predators out there who turn up all the time on the 20/20 special, all of the children interviewed knew to just delete and block them. And I must admit that before watching this special, that would have been my biggest fear/concern too.

The main thing was that the children were having a PRIVATE life on the computer that they were not sharing with their parents. Even with the computer in the main room, as soon as the mom would walk by, the screen would go blank. And when parents asked for the password to their children's myspace accounts, they refused. The children were keeping secrets from their parents and having all these friends online that their parents never even knew about.

The books I am reading talk about how important it is to "tie strings" with your children. And after watching the special, I feel an urgency to do that. I want my kids to be able to talk to and come to ME for everything. And back when the parents of these books had children, the possibility of online friends was not an option.

But now, in a world where even I spend time on the computer blogging and talking to internet friends, I know that my children will want to follow in my steps. And they will want to do it at a young age, without the mental and spiritual maturity to handle it.

Even I get critiscm from people who read this blog. But I am mature enough to "dig for gold" and not allow it to affect me in a negative way. Sure it hurts, but more and more, children who are hurt by others over the internet (called "cyber bullying) are committing suicide.

I want my children to enjoy their time with me. I want my children to love love LOVE being with me. I need to spend less time on the computer. Even though my time on the computer is limited, I think I need to limit it more. Because I want them to not want to be on the computer. I want them to get on to get info and get off and enjoy your family.

I read a story (I believe it was in an Above Rubies about a mother with 3? teenaged daughters. They all came bounding in her room and bouncing on her bed and talking talking TALKING to her about the new baby they had just seen. The mother was envied by her friend for her close friendship with her daughters.

I know that right now, my girls seem to gravitate towards me. No matter what room I am in, they will gravitate to that room. It is almost like I am a giant magnet. :) I don't want that to end. I worry about it ending. I need to do more than just be in the room with them, I need to BE WITH them.

I need to find MORE things to do to tie those strings. What do YOU do to tie strings with your children?

Three things I am thankful for:
not only the ability to change, but the WANT to change to be a better wife and mother
loving to learn
how the girls love their baby brother


Meredith said...

What a thoughtful and important post. This has been on my mind a lot lately.

BarbaraLee said...

My 13 yr. dd & 11 yr ds hold my hand in PUBLIC. Even my 21 yr dd will hold my hand when we go shopping. Some times it is the little things that can keep us close.