AA is an 8 1/2 yr old bundle of raging hormones. This has given me a VERY great appreciation for ALL I put my mother through!! LOL!!
But it has also caused AA difficulty. She is scared and unsure why things which came so easily to her before are now difficult for her. I just came from her room where she was crying "I want to be my old self!"
Now in this case, it is a GOOD thing to want to be her old self because her old self was much more kind, loving AND obedient. And it seemed to come easily to her.
But how many times do I wish I could be my old selfish self?
You see, it started because AA was told to take a nap because her lack of self control deemed one necessary. (Hey, MOMMA needs a nap too!) She said "Yes Ma'am" and then began arguing with me, very subtly, to please not have to take a nap.
How many times do I try to argue my way out of doing what He has asked?
We try to have the children focus on their heart behind their actions, so I told her that she needed to look at her heart. She was not in true obedience to Mommy because she was arguing with me about taking a nap. We discussed the rebellion and selfishness in her heart because she was putting her own desires above that of being obedient to Mommy.
She kept saying she was trying and that she wanted to be her old self. I explained that the problem was that she was trying to change herself, but God is the only One who can change us.
I have shared on here time and time again how I am STILL learning to allow God to change me and that I cannot do things in my own strength.
I shared with her how it is when we are weak that He makes us strong. So when we are told to do something, we need to realize when our heart is fighting against it and we need to pray and stop that selfish sin right there before it can go any further.
She could pray "Lord, Momma told me to take a nap and I don't want to. I know that this is wrong and selfish. I pray Lord that You will help me to die to myself and live for You. Help me to be obedient to my Mommy and glorify You Lord."
It was as I was sharing that prayer with her I realized that there are a lot of times when I feel the Lord telling me to do something, and I will not be obedient to Him. I want to blog, or read blogs, or read a book, or find out how the movie ends, or.... the list goes on and on. And instead, I need to stop and pray for God to help me to be obedient to Him. I need to allow myself to be weak in my self so I can be made strong in Him.
I shared that realization with my daughter, and how I was so thankful to God for using HER to teach me. She smiled. And then we prayed together. I cannot express the joy that overcame me as I realized that what had just happened deeply affected AA. I had been praying that God would help me to reach her. I could see that she was struggling, but had no idea what to say to her. Being humbled enough to share my weakness allowed AA to see God's strength. She was touched and this is not something she will easily forget. And I pray it is something she will easily remember to do as needed. Glory be to God!!! :D
But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.