What Has Happened To My Children?

"The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."
Proverbs 29:15

I cannot begin to tell you about what I have witnessed in my kids today. All day today I have heard nothing but compliments, sharing, kindness, giving, unselfishness, obedience...I could go on and on. And all of this has happened today with NO PRODDING or reminders on my part.

Now don't get me wrong. My kids are GREAT kids. And ask anyone and they will tell you I have great kids. But sometimes they have their days. And BOY do they have their days. But every once in a while, and I notice it happening more and more frequently, my kids will have a day like today.

And I pray, with all my heart, that this is just a tiny glimpse of how they will be when they are all grown. Full of the love and joy of the Lord. His grace and love and joy overflowing in their heats, actions and smiles.

It all started a few days ago. My husband and I decided that we needed to be a bit more firm in our discipline and TRAINING with the girls. We had really slacked off and was lecturing them more than training them. So in order to train them, I had to make sure I was spending more time with them. A LOT more time with them.

I caught every wrong behavior, and trainned them on the proper way to behave. I caught every good behavior and encouraged more. This is something that cannot happen when the children are shoved down in the basement so momma can just have a break (or not have to see the mess they make). We played together, a LOT. I read more to them than the typical story in the evening. We also talked a lot. But we played what THEY wanted to play, read what THEY wanted to read and talked about what THEY wanted to talk about.

And I began to see fruit last evening. After another full day of togetherness, I said it was time for dinner. In otherwords, we need to MAKE dinner. I asked MM (3yr) to clear the table, which she did speedily and perfectly! She then SET the table without being asked! EE (5yr) tidied up from our playing, and then got out the condiments for our dinner. She then asked what else she could do to help! AA (7yr) almost made dinner by herself!!! She opened up the can of refried beans, emptied them into a bowl and spooned them down to look like they had not just come out of a can. Then she shredded the cheese into a bowl. All I had to do was take the frozen veggies and heat them up. Dinner was ready, and it happened so fast and so smoothly, it was wonderful.

And it just continued on into today! After MM came down, she noticed cheese on her plate (cheese is a special treat around here). She picked it up and said "Thank you for the cheese Momma!" WOW!!! And throughout the day I have heard lots of unprompted giving and sharing. Lots of thank yous without being reminded.

Oh my heart is so blessed it is about to burst!!!

I had to think about what was different. I always encouraged my kids to be kind. I always ... but wait. I just THOUGHT I was always there to catch bad behavior and train them in proper behavior. I just thought I always was here to encourage them when they were being kind. But truth was, they were sometimes left to themselves. To play quietly in the basement while Momma took care of something. To stay in the living room watching a video while Momma took care of something. All the somethings I was taking care of did not allow me to give my full attention to the children. Bad behavior slipped by without rod and rebuke. Good behavior went unnoticed so much the children only did it when reminded rather than from a heart for it. And they didn't truly have Momma's heart and devotion.

We have all heard it. Love to a child is spelled T-I-M-E. And it is not just time doing what Momma wants. Do what your children want. Do they want to bake a cake for Daddy? GO FOR IT! Maybe they want to go bug hunting or hiking. JUST DO IT!

I so want to encourage you not to leave your children to themselves, but to take the time to show them you love them. Do what THEY want to do. It won't kill you, despite what you feel or think, and might even foster a better attitude in your child. Something which just might give you a glimpse of the Father working in their lives. Sure, it might be a sacrifice (of selfish behavior in my case), but that is the only thing it costs me. HOWEVER, not taking the time to show my children love will most likely cause me a lot of pain and suffering in the future when I question "why doesn't my child want to be with me?" or "why does my child not love God like he should? I want to look back with no regrets. Knowing I gave it my ALL and I gave it my BEST when it came to my children.