I don't know if it's hormones ... or the fact that I really fear losing my husband (I know he's in God's hands, but I am not ready to lose him yet), but the past few days have been very difficult emotionally. I have had sad moments in the past, but having Brian here and kids to care for, I was never really got terribly low. I got up and did what I had to to care for them.
But the day after Brian left (remember he is on a business trip), I was sad. The next day, I was even sadder. And I could feel myself slipping. I spent all day in bed and the kids watched hours of The Magic School Bus.
While I know there are people who have serious medical depression, I know that I am not one of those people. If you are, please seek medical help and know that it is OK to seek medical help when you need it.
So I prayed. I prayed telling God I did not want to be like this this next day. I prayed that God would help give me the motivation to get out of bed and home school the kids. That He would help me to clean the house. No prayer is too small to be lifted up to Him, and thus I fell asleep asking that the next day would be better with His strength.
God is faithful.
First, I received a phone call from a new friend! She was visiting her parents in the Springs, and called in response to an email about possibly getting together. In just a few hours. :) So I got up, showered and got dressed. The kids got ready and off we went. It was a WONDERFUL time and I have such good memories of those few hours together! :) It felt good to see the girls having so much fun! (And her little 1 year old boy happily kicking just like little boys do was a big help too.)
After getting home, my mom called and I had a great talk with her. She seems to always know when I am in need of a call and some laughs and encouragement.
AA finished her reading and copywork.
And I got the counter cleaned off in the kitchen. It was a little thing, but it was a step forward. Some thing was done. Some thing got cleaned. :)
Today, I got several loads of laundry done, the dining room, living room and den areas clean. And dishes are in the washer washing (my nightly servant)! :) The kids were GREAT helpers, each doing their part. And I have created a few new rules that I need to be consistent with and I know that if I do, the kids will finally get to a point where they are cleaning up not only after themselves, but after each other! Watching out for each other AND cleaning up...it's a good thing.
And having a cleaner house ... for me it's a good thing.
Prayer is so powerful. I am not a prayer warrior. I am honestly surprised that God answers any of my prayers. But I am so thankful that when I do cry out...He **IS** there. Some people might say Christianity is a crutch. I know that I heard that when I first became a Christian, do people even think that anymore? But honestly, HONESTLY, I don't know how I get by a day without Him. Yes, I can (and sadly often DO) go through the day by myself. But those days where I remember to invite Him in are some of my best days.
It is kinda like Disneyland. I go through the day perfectly content making mud pies in the backyard when there is a ticket for me and my family to go and enjoy Disneyland. All I have to do is remember to pick it up. Every day. Sometimes every moment! :D It's a joyful thing, and not a crutch at all.
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