Last Saturday I told you about a necklace that my husband made me while we were dating. I wear it to remind me of his love for me. As time goes on, one relizes that love is a decision and not a feeling that stays forever. When I see or feel the necklace, it reminds me that he does love me, even though I do not feel it all the time.
I started thinking today about how that necklace is really one of a kind. There is no other necklace like it in the world (well, at least the possiblity of there being another one like it are probably greater than that of winning the lottery). It makes me feel even more special to have such a unique piece of jewlery.
And I reminded that my husband is a one of a kind kindof guy. There is no one else like him, and no one else I would rather be with. Sure he has his faults (don't we all), and I could focus on those. But that would only make me bitter and build up walls between us. Hidden expectations form, and when unmet, bitterness resides. I want love to bloom and blossom in our relationship. Focusing on all the wonderful unique things about my husband ties strings between us and allows those blossoms to flourish.
And what a wonderful example it is to the children of how to love your spouse. In this day and age, where divorce is the norm rather than the exception, it is very easy for children to become scared that it will happen to their parents. I know when I was a student teacher in college, we were actually taught about how to deal with that fear. In fact, we were not allowed to mention marriage for life for fear that it would upset the children whose parents had been divorced. In my class of 30, 27 kids came from a divorced family.
So when those times do get tough (and believe me, they do and they will), you might try focusing on the unique qualities (the ones you fell in love with when you were dating and never ever thought of changing in him, but now that you are married, it becomes more difficult to NOT try to change them) of that one of a kind guy that God blessed you with as your husband. For better or for worse, choose to love him. And sooner than later, it won't be such a hard decision. :)
Sunday Afternoon Tea - Relationships and Reality
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