I'm tired. I can't handle one more temper tantrum or act of defiance.
It seems I am always cleaning up after someone.
I don't want to be a mom anymore.
So how do we love our children? And why are older women instructed in God's Word to teach younger women this? How do we CHOOSE to love our children? There are plenty of web sites and blogs out there that help us to be better keepers at home, disciplining our children, homeschooling our children, etc. But I have yet to find one to help encourage a mother to love her children.
ARE YOU OUT THERE?
A few come close, with a post every now and then about enjoying our children and doing things with them. Or some encouragement that "this too shall pass." But I have yet to find one devoted to teaching us to love our children. Love them even when we don't feel like loving them. Loving our children when we just don't feel we have anymore left in us. How to choose to love our children. And yet I fear, if we don't teach this generation to love their children, there will be little hope.
These three remain: faith, hope and charity, the greatest of these is charity.
Love. LOVE. Why is it so difficult to love our children? Why do I have to fight the thoughts of ME time, children are brats, and other SELFISHNESS? Why does the world bombard stay at home moms with thoughts of me time and finding worth outside the home? Even in Christian circles, women are encouraged to find their worth in ministry. What happened to the family being a ministry? What happened to ministering to my CHILDREN first and foremost? For in ministering to them, I am raising up arrows for the Lord who can then reach much more than I ever could as one. Look at John Wesley. Look at his Momma! Look at Titus. His mother and grandmother are mentioned in the Bible for teaching him the Scriptures from his youth!
And why are we scared to talk about this? Is there shame in admitting weakness in this area? I think because of all the sister bashing, there is. But we should be able to admit freely, and without fear, our shortcomings in this area. In our weakness He is made strong!
I am really excited about going through 1 Corinthians 13. I am realizing that this is not a definition of love, it is an application of love! And I am hoping that it will help all of us (myself included) who deal with times like mentioned at the beginning of this letter to love our children (even when it is difficult). It started at as an exercise to teach my children to love one another, but I think it will also help me in this area (as well as in the area of my marriage - which I am always striving to improve - good is good, but best is better). ;)
Now please don't miss the point of this post. Yes, I agree, all moms sometimes need some down time. And it is good to have things we enjoy in our life (like scrapbooking, crochet and sewing). It is even nice to take a scented bath and just relax and enjoy ourselves. But it should not be because we need to escape our children. It is at times like that we need to choose to love them.
And I am curious about you mom's of ones. Do you go through the same feelings, emotions and difficulties as this?
4 comments:
I'm a mom of one. A daughter who is now 20 years old. I have tried not to comment much about raising children, because I only had one. I always hear moms say, "You should have two, three, ..."
I can't honestly say that I had any times that I felt frustrated raising her.
All I can tell you is to remember that your children are given to you by God and just as His love is unconditional so should a parent's love be the same. I imagine that if children are kept busy with not only school or playing, but chores, they are less likely to get into those sibling rivalries.
Paula,
I'm like you- I have been so frustrated lately at the total hole that could be filled by Titus 2 women, but they're not stepping up!
We need them, and yet they won't step up!!!
I think part of it may be what you touched on- that so many of them sent their kids off into the world to be raised that they don't feel like they can have much to teach moms who homeschool, or are much more conservative than they were.
Very interesting post, though. My heart echoes yours in this area!
Blessings!
Hi Paula,
I just stopped over here to see what you have been up to and found this prior post of yours. Wow, what an indictment! Actually, I have been feeling a bit deceptive lately because I haven't shared the frustrations I have been having lately in my mothering. I am blessed by you and I think it is very humbling that you look up to me as a mom---especially when I know that I fall so short! I started to tell you a story last time we were visiting. I had a meeting that was supposed to be with two or three ladies who wanted help starting up a small group. Well, only one gal showed up and I was so impressed by her. She was very lovely in dress and manner and I could tell that she was a very loving mother. She carried herself with all confidence without any arrogance. A very sweet, Christlike woman. I really enjoyed our conversation and felt like it was orchestrated by the Lord. A few days later I received a note from her....and she said she was really blessed by our time together "in the spirit of Titus II!" I was altogether shocked because I felt like she has so much more to offer me than the other way around. That and also the fact that I felt so immature around her. I am not so sure I like thinking of myself as "the older woman!" LOL.
All that to say, I know that the Lord has His plan and will for me, and I am praying that I will learn to love my children unconditionally, and that I will be an example for those who are looking on. It doesn't come easy for me, even though I love them dearly, I have some difficulty in keeping the proper perspective. I do get very selfish, and you should have seen the fit I threw today. :(
Anyway, it has always been my goal to "try" to post blog entries that are encouraging to other homeschooling mothers, and yet I find myself holding back when I am not walking the walk. I do suppose that the Lord would rather have me be honest about those things instead of pretending they don't exist. Even us Mommies who have been at it for a long time, and sometimes appear to have it all together (ha) still hide out with their aprons flipped over their heads, crying out to God. Thankfully, He is listening!
Love,
Nancy
I totally understand those feelings. I find the struggle a bit harder now that I have two children. I spend a lot of time with my girls, or they are often by my side as I do things, and my mom tells me she has learned a lot about parenting from me. LOL! Parenting is tough but rewarding work. I'm just entering the homeschool arena and am unsure of what I'm getting myself into. I'm enjoying visiting your blog. :0)
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