bits & pieces: august 23, 2010

20 Things to do This Summer
GREAT list of fun activities. One which we just picked up - geocaching!! :D

Be Out There
I learned about this site via Simple Modern Mom and had to share it. Some GREAT ideas!

A Challenge That Will Make You...
LAUGH! And I did when I read this. Why? Because I was JUST talking to a Created book study group I am a part of about the importance of laughing with your spouse. :D My favorite times are in bed with my husband after the lights are out and the kids are sleeping and we are both delirious from lack of sleep and EVERY THING seems so funny. We laugh and laugh literally for hours. It is GREAT! Like super glue that bonds us together. :D

Gardens at Dusk Tank Tutorial
This is so beautiful and elegant!

Worthy of Wedding...

A new internet friend recently remarried for the second time nearly two years after her first husband's death. She looked so beautiful - full of joy!

Of course, me, I cannot even imagine marrying another man after losing Brian. But then again, I AM currently blessed to STILL be married to him all these 13+ years. :D So I guess it is a good thing that I cannot picture myself ever loving another man.



But I began to think about what would attract another man to me should I need to remarry.

I am not a good cook.
I am lazy.
I do not keep a very clean and orderly home.
I do not homeschool the typical way.
I need to lose ... weight. ;)
I am not as submissive as I should be.

Well, you get the idea. My list started getting pretty long.

And then I started thinking. First, I need to kiss my husband's feet for staying with and loving someone like me for as long as he has! :D I need to be more grateful to him! :D

But secondly, that I can become a better woman for the man I have NOW. Make him proud to be married to me. Be all the things I am praying my girls are so they can be worthy of a godly man for a husband. Be all those things in my list that I am not, but that I know my husband not only needs, but deserves.

I know my man will always love me. I am so thankful I can be secure in that. Especially in this day and age where divorces are rampant. I know he knows my faults, and loves me in spite of them. And he always will. But how much more special and meaningful to him, for me to change and be better. I know that our home is not on this earth. And that time here is very short and precious. I want to do everything I can, now, while we are both here together, to show him how much I value him.

I never thought about that. My lack of keeping the home clean and organized shows a lack of my value in my husband. I mean if someone special was coming over (hey, even if it was just the news station with video cameras to video the house), wouldn't I make more of an effort? How much more special and of value is my man than the CBS cameraman?

CTBHHM: Chapter 3

I went upstairs to pout. Things are really tough right now with my husband and his hernia. He is waiting on God to heal him, and He hasn't yet. And this hernia prevents my husband from doing a lot of things a husband would do. He is even unable to pick up his own son, and that pains his heart. And because of that, he tends to be more irritable than usual. It's understandable how when you are not able to do all God has created you to be and do, you get irritable.

So I went upstairs to pout. And being behind on my CTBHHM reading and posting, I thought I would catch up on that. Here are the first words I read:

"A wise woman sets a joyful mood in her home. Through laughter, music, and happy times, she creates a positive attitude in her children. She knows that a light-hearted home relieves her husband of stress."

OUCH! That hit home. I continued to read...

"Joy begins with thankfulness."

"It is amazing how much your mouth controls your soul."

"Thankfulness is HOW you think; joy is the abundance it produces."

She then shares a letter a woman sent her about how she used to demand to be treated like a princess, but now that she serves him, seeking to delight him, he always treats her like a princess.

I thought about all the times that I would sometimes pout in order to get my husband to do something I wanted. All the times that I would secretly wish for my husband to do something for me, and then sadly get frustrated with him when my silent expectations went unmet.

And I thought about all the times where I was just so in love with my beloved. All the times that I would just delight in delighting him. How happy ALL of us were! Proverbs says that sweet words are HEALTH to the bones. I cannot help but wonder if bringing more joy into the home (which I sadly admit has been lacking lately) would not bring health to my husband. It cannot possibly hurt. :D

And those times, those happy times, my husband delighted in me. He loved being with me and he was happy.

I need to....

PRACTICE being thankful.

I need to remember the story Corrie ten Boom told about being thankful for the lice. I need to just shoot up thanksgiving to the Lord throughout the day - for ALL things. Even the mess on the floor (thankful I have children who are healthy enough to make the mess to begin with). The mountain of laundry I have yet to conquer (thankful for the abundance that God has blessed us with - and maybe weed down the cloth and bless some others!). Even my husband's hernia (thankful for the lessons God is teaching us as He draws us closer to Him through it all).

Smile OFTEN.

I need to just remember to smile! Think pleasantly about my children, my husband. Find SOMETHING to smile about. (Think Pollyanna and the glad game.)

Bring joyful music into the home.

This is especially important as I found out this morning when I was playing a happy little tune on the computer and my husband commented how much he liked it. My husband is VERY musical and music is almost a pathway to his soul.

Laugh OFTEN.

My favorite memories are of my beloved and me lying in bed together, side by side, and just LAUGHING so hard that our cheeks hurt. I honestly cannot remember what the conversations were about, or even what was so funny. I just remember staying up til 2 in the morning just laughing. I need to think of ways to bring more laughter into the home. Please share if you have ideas.

Bring HAPPY times to the house.

I want to make a list of things that might bring happy times to the house. Then, plan to do one AT LEAST once a week. Please share if you have ideas.

CTBHHM: Chapter 2

"Joy is visible."
I have often asked my kids why they were sad. When they said they weren't I would jokingly say "Well you need to inform your face so it can show it because your face is telling me that you are sad." They will usually smile after that. :D But I had to think about how often I unintentionally show my husband that I am sad or discontent or unhappy just by the look on my face. I need to be more aware of my face and what it is communicating to my beloved!

Debi talks about an "only for him grin." I have one of these. It happens every time I think about my husband and his love for me and how blessed I am to be married to him. It is also a grin I give him when I am thinking about us and the marriage bed. :D I actually took a picture of myself with this grin and framed it for him. He keeps it in his office. Only HE knows what I am thinking when I show him that grin. :D

I also heard once, somewhere, a long time ago, that a woman should keep a picture of her husband from when the first started dating on the kitchen counter near where she cooks/does dishes. It is supposed to be in a place where a woman is often. And it is supposed to be of him when you first started dating so when you look at it, you can be reminded of all the things you fell in love with him for. I know for myself, having done this, it is a good reminder, especially during those times where his life gets busy and he doesn't seem to have the time to be with me as much anymore. I remind myself of all the things I fell in love with him about.

I also read in a book (Sheet Music by Kevin Leman) that whenever you have gotten into a bad habit of doing something wrong in your marriage, that it can be helpful to write a letter to your husband. In it, you state what you have done wrong, and then apologize and let him know you are going to be working on that area and doing things differently. That you appreciate his encouragement and patience with you as you work on becoming better. I too have done that (about 7 years ago now) and I will tell you that it was wonderful for my marriage.

"Cultivate his love for you."
I LOVE using the 1828 Webster's Dictionary! It is the only dictionary where almost all of the words are defined using Scripture!
It defines cultivate as "To till; to prepare for crops; to manure, plow, dress, sow and reap; to labor on manage and improve in husbandry." OK, now I know what is meant by husbandry, but it is kinda funny. :D What I find most interesting is how much WORK goes into cultivating. AND that REAPING as a part of it! So many times I do take for granted that he should be showing he loves me more. That he should be more interested in me. But why should I expect it of him? No one likes to be around a pouty face. Just as I worked on our love before marriage, does not mean I should stop now that I got him. :D There are sadly too many temptations in this world to drag him away. If it is not another woman, it could be work. I know my husband would spend LONG hours at work just because he would rather be there than come home to a nagging wife.

I have a calendar where I chose one day a week to something special JUST for my beloved. Sometimes it is bake his favorite dessert or cook a meal he really enjoys (get a binder and print out copies of recipes to put in this binder that is JUST recipes your husband LOVES). Other ideas: a back rub, time to get away by himself to work on a hobby, time alone at home to work on a hobby, cleaning the garage so he can do woodworking, wearing an outfit he especially likes, wearing something special to bed in the evening, planning a night away just the two of us, making sure he has clean undershirts/underwear/socks (this is especially important since I do not do laundry as often as I would like).

"No man has ever crawled out from under his wife's criticism to be a better man - on matter how justified her condemnation."
This got me the first time I read it and it gets me again. I need to print this out and post it to my husband's forehead! This is SO TRUE and so easy to forget! I like the saying that as a wife, I am not to play the role of the Holy Spirit in my husband's life. I can be supportive in a non critical way.

"He needs to hear gladness and appreciation in your voice when you speak to him... possibly even more than he needs sexual release."
So many times, because the books tell us men are sexual creatures, we go for the sex to please our man when he is stressed or unhappy or whenever we are worried about losing him. But I know my man is NOT like that. While sex does play a role, and is important to my beloved ... It is so much more important to my man to know he is appreciated and that I am happy. If those two things are true, then he can take on the world! He is a happy man. And that makes me happy.

"Ask yourself, what can I do today that will make him smile?"
Something I recently starting doing: flirting with my beloved. I did it while we were dating, why not now?! It makes him feel loved and wanted. And I notice he smiles a whole lot more! I have also made sure that I always look nice for him. I may not always be wearing his FAVORITE outfit, but my hair is brushed, I am not in pajamas, and I am using correct posture (what a difference it makes in how my beloved sees me!). I also ask for his help where he can show off being a man (open this for me please, how do you do that?, what does this mean?) but am NOT afraid to do things that are just "for men" to do (like I will mow the lawn during the week so he has more time to spend with us on the weekend).

CTBHHM: Chapter 1

Now that the whole fmaily is better (thank you EVERYONE for your prayers), I hope to get back to the picture taking and journaling again (for anyone who cares). :)

An online group I am a part of is reading through the Created To Be His Help Meet book for the first time. I have not read it in a while, so I am going through it with them.

I know there is a LOT of debate about this book. You will find people either hate it or love it. I personally am one who loves it. It has transformed me and changed my marriage. And as I continue to learn and grow in this area of my life, my marriage continues to be better than ever. I am so thankful for what God has taught me through His word and this book.

If you disagree, that is fine, just skip these posts. If you agree, that is fine. Either way, I hope that anyone who reads these will be blessed and possibly be a better wife and have a better marriage as a result. Delve into God's word and be blessed. :D

-=-=-=-
Chapter 1 - some quotes and my thoughts

"A wise woman does not take anything for granted."
Oh how this really hit me. My husband is a pretty much laid back guy. I can sometimes (way more often than I should) put him on the back burner while I put the kids in first place above him. I know that he likes a clean house, but I can let it slide (and have for YEARS) because I know that he will not say much of anything about it (until it gets to be TOO much). I have totally taken for granted my husband's love and patience.

"Do you wake each morning ready to make your husband happy and blessed, to serve him to the best of your ability?"
Sadly, most of the time I am dragging myself out of bed. I got to sleep way too late and the kids are up way too early. And when I am up, my first thoughts are "gotta get going and take care of the kids." My first thought is not pleasing and blessing my husband and sadly, it is not the Lord either. I do not wake up with a smile on my face and a joyful heart ready to serve. I need to work on that.

"The degree to which you reverence your husband is the degree to which you reverence your Creator."
OUCH! I read this book once before and do not remember reading that. :D But I can totally see this as true in my life.

"God made you to be a help meet to your husband so you can bolster him, making him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do."
I have to say that I know this first hand. I have sadly tried to make my husband into something he is not (we will get to that later in the book so I will save more story for then). But the words "whatever **HE** chooses to do" is something that really stuck out to me this time. My husband has a lot of ideas (he is a Mr. Visionary) and could have gone so FAR if I had supported him in what HE wanted to do. But so many times, and I STILL sadly struggle with this, so many times I try to get him to do what I want him to do. My husband is a MUCH MUCH MUCH (a thousand times over) happier man when I "bolster" him making him "more productive and efficient" and whatever HE chooses to do.

"A perfect help meet is one who does not require a list of chores as would a child. Her readiness to please motivates her to look around and see the things she knows her husband would like to see done."
I am so guilty of taking what I would guess to be the lazy way out. If my husband has not asked it of me, I do not do it. And I do ask him things I can do to help him. But how much more precious and valuable to him am I when I take the time to look around and see and DO what I know my husband would like to be done without him even having to ask?!?! I know that when I am having a tough day and my husband sees that and makes dinner for me (so I do not have to), that is so much more of a blessing then "why can't my husband see I am having a bad day? I will ask him to make dinner for me."

I also like how she talks about why she uses the words "help meet" rather than helpmeet or help-meet. A helper to meet the needs to her husband. LOVE that.

I Am ... A Helpmeet

My beloved has gotten back in touch with his creative side which means more pictures. :) I am so happy! You see, he is VERY much a Mr. Visionary. I tried for the longest time to make him into a Mr. Steady, and it almost killed him. He literally had no life in him. NO smile. No joy. And I could not figure out why. Until I realized that he was truly a Mr. Visionary - all that artistic and creative talent - I should have known. But we women sometimes like to smush our husbands into a box that we wish them to be in rather than allow them to be molded into the masterpiece God wants to make them.

My husband is VERY creative. And he has several outlets for that creativity: music (he plays the guitar, piano - even writing his own music, as well as playing the clarinet and is now trying to learn violin), computer programming (he can write our basic run of the mill stuff, but he can also write some WHIZ BANG programs when given the time and creative freedom to do so), writing poetry and songs, and of course there is photography.

This is me, crouched down behind the scenes with a blow dryer (boy this was a hard self-portrait to capture, I could not SEE myself and kept getting just the blow-dryer), being a supportive wife, a helpmeet to a Mr. Visionary. :) AND I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! :D :D

You see, I got to help my husband be who he IS rather than what I want him to be. I got to see him smile and laugh and be full of JOY as he got to express his creative side. Sometimes it is hard. I worry that he is spending more time on his creativity than on being with us. But then he does something like including the children in the photo shoot or in helping Daddy with ideas. Or he includes me (like above) in helping him. Or he plays his songs for the kids.

OH THE JOY of helping your husband be who God created him to be!! And the joy... OH THE JOY of a husband whose wife helps him!!! Look at that childish GRIN!!! LOOK AT THAT JOY!!! :D I would not trade that for a Mr. Steady anytime - and I can't believe I ever did.

Current Web Readings

This is kinda short this week. It is so much easier for me to just click "Share of Facebook" when i find a good link! LOL!!! So I have a TON of links on my FB page.

God's Devine Order
A good reminder.

Are Your Kids Hearing God's Voice?
This was a good conviction. We will be working on this this week.

Affliction
a wonderful and timely reminder of how to handle affliction.

Daily Paul
I never would have thought myself a supporter of Ron Paul. I was a HUGE Huckabee fan during the last election. But there is a passion for truth stirred up inside of me. A passion for America to return back to what our forefathers desired for this country and it's people. Read on...

Berkey Water Bottle
I SOOOOOO want one of these for every member in the family!

How To Cure A Sugar Fiend
I can't WAIT to make that breakfast for my daughters!

Let me tell you ... or ... maybe not

There are great benefits to listening to your husband share about his today. I will admit that when my husband shares about his day, most of it goes over my head. I am amazed at how right-brained I can be when someone is talking TOTAL left brain. Yet I do not consider myself creative at all. I will tell you though, I am my husband's BIGGEST cheerleader - whether I can understand all he is talking about or not! :D

So the other day my husband was sharing about how his day was going and what he had learned...

Wait, hold on, let me back up a few days to Friday. Friday was a terrible, no good, very bad day for my husband. You see, he LOVES to accomplish things at work. When he does not accomplish things, he feels miserable. There were a few things that I saw going on in my husband's life with his work that I knew if HE knew, he could change and have better days at work.

And BOY did I want to tell him what I thought he could change and be better and have better days. I knew he could not see it because he was too closely involved, being it involved HIM and all. :) But I felt God telling me to hold my tongue. So I prayed instead. I have learned to obey in that area and the blessing OH THE BLESSING that comes from obeying!

So fast-forward to the other day. My husband is telling me about work and goes on to share about these things he was learning. OH THE JOY I saw in my husband! Joy like he has not had in a long time. DIRECTION!!! He finally sees the direction that God wants him to go at this time for this season in his life! And the peace that all of this is bringing. PASSION he has for his work (that is a good thing for my husband - he used to be so passionate about what he was doing). And the JOY - did I mention joy already? ;)

Oh what I would have missed out on if I had tried to be the Holy Spirit in my husband's life!! What little strides, if any at all, would have been made. And the joy, if any had come, would have been short, VERY short lived. How do I know? Because I have been there before. I have tried to help my husband be better by telling him things rather than allowing God to tell him. And when I tell Brian, especially if I have NOT been led by the Lord to, then I notice it is like a band-aid on my husband. A temporary fix. But band-aids fall off.

When God tells your husband something it is like a complete and total healing! MUCH longer lasting. And at those times where there may be a little slip, God is there to catch him rather than ME trying to have to carry my husband.

I just had to share that. I hope it blesses and encourages someone.

PLEASE note that I am not saying I am perfect. There are many times when I don't even give the Lord a chance to tell me to keep my mouth shut. I just open up and start blabbing away at my husband. But this time, the Lord "interrupted" me before I could get going. LOL!! And I am SO THANKFUL He did! :D

Saturday Sweethearts: Give A Man A Hand

Sometimes our husband can be a real blessing to us and allow us "time off." A girl's night out...a woman's retreat...a run to the grocery store. :) And sometimes he has to watch the kids because you need to take one in for outpatient surgery (MM's doing GREAT by the way, thanks for your prayers).

I have learned one way to TRULY bless my beloved when he is watching the kids (and I am away) is to leave SOME sort of schedule for him, as well as a feeding plan for all the children (not just meals, but snack ideas too because are kids EVER full?!?). :D

I know that my beloved sometimes gets very focused on doing ONE thing and watching three or four kids without knowing some sort of schedule is a bit overwhelming for him. Even just a reminder to check the Acts of Service board (ours is a PEGS System) if the children need something to do.

Because my beloved is only really around them during the evening and weekends, he doesn't realize how much the children eat (usually 4-5 mini meals a day, that includes snacks), or that they need naps/quiet time. Letting him know certain times for those activities are helpful to him.

AA is at an age now where she can cook a few meals. So even just letting him know that at a certain time he can tell her to make ______ for lunch (there has to be a specific food there, otherwise AA will ask him if each little thing is OK to eat). :D I also ALWAYS have a bowl of fruit on the table and carrot sticks in the fridge. That way when the kids want a snack, he can say "grab a piece of fruit" or "eat some carrot sticks." He does not even have to think about it OR prepare it for them.

It truly helps him to not have to worry about what to feed the kids, and it also helps him to remember that they have a quiet time (which gives HIM a quiet time and allows him to have some peace). :D

So while this was not very romantic, I guarantee that helping him to car for the kids while you are away is a wonderful way to keep the romance alive. :D

Working Willingly With My Hands

It is amazing how powerful, though short, Meredith's posts can be.

In playing catch up in reading her bog, I came across this post which really inspired me!!!

I too rather gather from afar (i.e. the thrift store) than work willingly with my hands. And how much do I gather!! LOL!! My house is FULL of stuff I bought JUST because it was a great bargain!

My beloved recently mentioned to me that it shows him great disrespect when I am so careless with our money. He had to work so many hours for whatever that object is. And when I buy it for no reason, OR when I buy it and it does not get used, it is showing him that I do not respect him OR his time because time equals money equals that cheap whatever I bought and wasted money on.

He also said the same is true even if I use it. If I am not caring for it, or making sure the KIDS care for it (be it furniture, clothes, DVD's, whatever), then again, it shows a disrespect for him and his time.

So I really want to working on USING WHAT I HAVE rather than always running out and buying something. Maybe even staying away from thrift stores all together unless something is NEEDED. Then looking for THAT thing, and not tempting myself to buy something because of the great price. I use the same principle to save money on furniture. Rather than going out and buying new furniture or things to decorate the place, I simply rearrange the furniture. A whole new look, and it cost me NOTHING! Plus it makes me feel GOOD using my creative side to rearrange the room. :)

And I am working on getting rid of those things which I wasted money on. Hopefully I can barter or sell them. Beloved feels even more disrespected when I bought something, and then it just gets donated right back.

And I think with less stuff, it will be easier to see and care for (and respect) those things which we DO have.

Now, after all this seriousness, but still on topic, read this for a laugh.

Fireproofing MY Marriage

Tonight is family pizza movie night. Because of my husband's work (long story), we had to be out of the house. So no pizza (who has gluten free pizza in restaurants?). And when we got home, right at bed time for JJ and movie time for the girls, the girls came into my bedroom and waited patiently while I put JJ down for the night.

Then the movie .... Fireproof.

It was interesting to see my oldest daughter's reactions during the movie. She laughed at all the things that make you laugh. And she cried at all the things that made you cry. She cried at the heart ache of divorce. She was joyful over the wife coming to Christ. And at the end of it all, she exclaimed "that was the best movie I have ever seen!"

I have this blog, in which I am as open and honest as I feel that I can be (in order to keep my family safe). Part of that is that I want a searchable record for myself and a record for my children. And part of that is that God might use me to help just one person. I never know because most of the people who read my blog are like me. VERY little time, searching just for something that I might be able to use in my family or home school, but never really having time to comment.

So now I share something I have not shared before now. I feel it is important in order to keep me humble and remember where I have come from, how far God has brought me, and hopefully to fireproof my children in their marriage that they will never have to face what we have.

You see, the movie is very dear to Brian and myself because we have been there. While we agreed before we married that divorce was never an option, separation almost tore us apart.

I was a very selfish person. And being a selfish person I was very lazy. Now I want to make clear that I am STILL selfish AND lazy, but God has done and is still doing a work in me. I have come a long way and have a longer way to go.

LONG story short, I have learned a few things.

First, I learned how to submit to my husband. I had thought I was submissive, and if you had asked Brian if I was submissive, he would have said yes with no reservations. God showed me what it meant to be truly and biblical submissive (and not just submissive according to what other ladies in the church said submission meant). In short, I am not a doormat, and you can search SUBMISSION at the top of the blog to read my views on submission. I am not perfect in this area, and I still daily fall short. But I know now when I am in the wrong. And it honors my husband when I submit fully with all my heart.

It is because I have learned what submission BIBLICALLY means that any of the rest of this makes any sense.

I have learned to met my husband's needs. God created me as a helper, a helpmeet to my husband.

I have learned that my husband NEEDS a clean house. Now you can search my archives and see my daily struggle with keeping a home. My house, while no longer completely messy, is not as clean as it can and SHOULD be for my husband. It did not get messy overnight and it will not get clean overnight. But I make time to not only clean, but get the kids to clean as well. And when we get something clean, we keep it clean. I see progress every day. And I will continue to make progress every day because my husband needs it.

I have also learned that I need to stop being so selfish and make sacrifices for my husband. Part of that means rubbing his feet, and doing so without getting anything in return. Brian has a hernia and several people all reported being able to avoid surgery by reflexology on certain points in the feet. So I have been trying to rub his feet every night. No matter how tired I am. And no matter how I would love for him to rub my feet just once. :)

I have learned to see that my husband shows me love in different ways. I could want something like a foot rub from my husband, but him rubbing my feet is not a way that he would show love to me. Sure, he would do it if I asked him. But I want him to just KNOW what I want. :) I have learned to share my wants/needs with my husband so he can fulfill them (if he is able). And if I do not share those wants/needs with him, I remember that he shows me love in different ways.

I have also learned that being a helpmeet means meeting his needs. I listen more carefully now for the little things he says he wants/needs done. Today, in passing, during the few minutes we actually got to spend together, he mentioned that he needed wool socks washed. In the past, i might have heard that and ignored it (too wrapped up in my selfishness to want to do laundry) or it gone in one ear and out the other (because, again, I would have been too wrapped up in my selfishness). So I did one load of laundry today. One load that will bless my husband when he has wool socks to wear tomorrow.

I also make him lunch now. You see, beforehand I was too lazy to worry about making a lunch for my husband (sounds so bad to say that I know). I would bring out something for the girls to eat, and snack on something myself, but felt it was too much effort to make something for my husband to eat. Because he works from his office, he can't really eat a meal, so I found a use for those Tupperware circle things with all the dividers for different veggies and a dip. I make a dip, put in some veggies, add some other fun finger foods and bring it in for him. He is able to snack all day on things MUCH healthier than candy and cookies.

And I think what has been the second most important change, only second to biblical submission, and only possible because of God...I smile. It sounds simply enough, but it means SO MUCH to my man. It is a literal NEED for him like breathing and water. And you know what, it has made my husband happier. It makes him secure in our marriage, especially during those times where he has two weeks worth of 17-20 hour workdays. It brings him a little bit of happiness and joy.

Actually all of these things so simple, yet when put together, help me make my marriage fireproof. With God's strength and daily grace, I am reminded of and able to do the simplest of things that didn't used to be so simple.

Saturday Sweethearts: The Love Dare

OK, so who has NOT seen Fireproof the movie yet??? While the acting in this movie is not the best, the lessons learned and sentiment are good.

In the movie, there is The Love Dare. Brian and I bought ourselves this book as a Christmas present. Family Life Today is currently going through the 40 Day Love Dare. You can get email reminders sent directly to your inbox!

JOIN IN!

Saturday Sweethearts: Links O' Love

Questions For A Godly Wife

99 Ways To Daily Show Love To Your Husband

And my all time FAVORITE thing I did for Brian at Christmas time during our first year of marriage (which would be so FUN to get the girls in on and do it again this year):
Christmas Love

Husbands Love Praise and Adoration - LOVING this blog!!!

Supporting Your Husband During Hard Times - this post is REALLY REALLY good. Even if things are not tough right now PLEASE read this post so you have this in your mind for if a hard time should hit again (even just your beloved having a difficult day at work). - TOTALLY loving this blog!!!

Current Web Readings

Abundance Out Of Simplicity
A wonderful post on Christmas. I really like this idea. HT: Like Merchant Ships

Doing Your Husband Good Day 2
I have truly been enjoying this series. But I did want to comment on something said in the beginning of this post. I LOVE how she points out that it is not for us to look to our husband to lighten our load, but to take it to the Lord and allow Him to lighten it for us. BEAUTIFULLY put!!!

Jesse Tree
I was amazed to hear my beloved talking about this idea as if it was his own. LOL! Honestly he does come up with the BEST ideas. Unfortunately, sometimes, someone else had already come up with it first. So next year we might be doing a Jesse Tree! :) This is one of the best articles with LOTS of links, from a blog I just happen to love! (Please be in prayer for Monica and her family, she has recently found out her father has cancer.)

Respect

I was listening to an Dr. S.M. Davis sermon (which one I cannot remember, I was half asleep when I heard it) and he mentioned respect.

He said that the reason we don't wear shorts to church is out of respect for others and respect for God. The reason to dress your children in nice clothes is out of respect for others and respect for each other and for the parents.

And I started to think about it. Is what I am wearing showing respect for my beloved? A lot of times I dress in clothes that are very VERY comfortable (i.e. way too large for me). So I asked Brian about it. He said that while he does want me to be comfortable, he really likes to see me in clothes that are form fitting. Not tight and "wow look at me." But clothes that are baggy are frumpy looking. And clothes that are a little more form fitting are just plain nicer. He feels respected when I wear nicer clothes like that.

He had never really thought about feeling respected by the clothes I wear before until after I mentioned it to him.

So we went through my closet and I got rid of most all my baggy clothes. I still have my box of maternity clothes. And I have a few not so baggy, but not form fitting and nice clothes for camping. It feels so good to have much less clothes cluttering up the closet (the dirty laundry room) and my mind (I have NOTHING to wear)! LOL!! Secondly, it feels so good to know that when I do grab something out of the closet to put on, it is something that will please my beloved and make him feel respected.

Now onto the children and THEIR closets!!! :D

Just 15 Minutes

He was supposed to be home by now. The wife became ever more angry, not only at his tardiness, but as his lack of thoughtfulness to call to let her know he and the children were alright.

She had tried calling the cell phone several times and left several messages as he was not picking up.

"Why doesn't he answer the phone!" she thought, although it was more of an angry exclamation than an actual question.

The wife had been having a bad day, and now it was past time for dinner, the dinner which the husband was supposed to be bringing home, and the kids he didn't take with him were now asking for dinner.

With each phone call she made to the cell phone, she became increasingly mad and increasingly worried.

Finally he called, worried that with so many phone calls to the cell, she was in trouble or something was wrong. He really should know by now that all those phone calls are really because of her worry about him, as well as the underlying tone of "I want you home fast."

He had one more thing to do. It would not take more than 15 minutes before he would be home. The grocery store was his last stop and it was only 3 minutes for their house. Fifteen minutes to check out, load up the few kids he had with him and drive home.

As the husband pulled out of the parking lot of the grocery store, he noticed a most horrific accident that had he left 15 minutes sooner, he would have been in. The car was wrapped around and flipped over, and worst of all, there was a limp and unconscious, possibly dead body still in the car.

Sometimes a wife just needs to thank God for a husband who take 15 minutes more to do something and ask God and her husband for forgiveness for her attitude. Those 15 minutes saved my husband's and daughter's lives. This is a true story.

Saturday Sweethearts: Friendly Encouters

It is so important to my husband that he and I are friends. Of course, he is my best friend, and I can say that with all honesty. But to him, friendship is more than just being able to open up and share your inner most self. It is DOING things.

After this past week of frustration with the court case and baby JJ and his allergic reaction to eggs, I really wanted to do something fun with one of my friends. She had invited me to go to the waterpark with her (I do not get to waterparks very often because my husband does NOT like waterparks). I thought it was a great idea!!

But my husband had other things in mind. He wanted to go to the State Fair. And he wants to go to a local Apple Orchard (a family tradition for 9 years). Now to ME, the farm is open many more weeks and the State Fair is open a few more days, but the waterpark closes this weekend.

But my husband shared how he really wanted to be with me and our family. What woman in her right mind can resist THAT? :D So instead of pouting about not going to the waterpark, I get on my knees and thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful husband. A man who loves to spend time with me and his family.

This is just one instance of a time when my husband wanted to do something "friendly" like with me. It speaks his love language, and anytime I can fulfill a love language, I do my best to.

What is something "friendly" that your husband likes to do?Does he like to go hiking or camping? Maybe he wants to go to the baseball game? While it may not be your cup of tea, I guarantee you it will be worth it for you to find out what he likes and then make his interests your own. You never know...one day you might find your husband just taking interest in one of YOUR interests because he sees how much FUN it is to take interest in your spouses interests!!! :) But even if he doesn't, at least you will be spending more time together. :)

-=-=-=-=-
Remember, THESE ARE IDEAS FOR YOU (not your husband). YOU are to romance your husband! I was inspired to do these Saturday Sweethearts based on a book called Romancing Your Husband by Debra White Smith. PLEASE get a hold of this book and read it. It is a really good book and will really change your life. :)

Remember When?

Do you remember when every thing in life brought your joy and happiness? A loved one smiled at you and you were on cloud nine. Someone clapped at something you did and you smiled so big you couldn't see because your eyes squinted shut (that is how my baby JJ smiles).

Whatever happened to those days where it was so easy to find joy? Does it wane with the added responsibility of daily life? And only appear in bursts here and there?

I am so thankful for my children. They help me to find a lot more joy in life that I would ever have without them.

Right now baby JJ is chewing on a dropper and it is making that squeaky sound. A few squeaks and he looks up at me with that smile from ear to ear that makes his eye squint closed and I just laugh out loud!

I pick him up and put him on my lap, where he proceeds to give my arm raspberries intermitted with that smile again.

Yesterday I was kissing Daddy and MM (4 yr) comes up and smiles a big smile and hugs both Daddy and me and then asks if we are married. :)

When AA was a little one (about 3yr) I was on a step stool trying to get something. However, the view was blocked from where she was sitting. "Momma, are you high?" I giggle. "Momma are you on something?" Bursts of laughter erupt from both my husband and me.

And Disneyland (with a 2yr 3yr and 5yr) would just not have been as much fun or magical just me and my beloved.

Today I cam across an ebay auction that you have prolly read by now (if you haven't, stop and go read it right now. It is too funny.). And of course, after reading the auction, I had to visit her blog. Which is where I found this wonderful video that does show just how full of joy we can be at such a young age.



Unfortunately, my baby JJ is such a boy and so reserved in his laughter. He hardly ever laughs, but those smiles so big his eyes squint shut abound!

And I do have to add a word here about my beloved. I also find joy in him and with him. He is my best friend and life is so much more joy filled WITH him as a part of my life. I am so thankful to God to be blessed with him as my friend, my husband. I don't want anyone out there to think that I find more joy in my children than in my husband. :) I am so thankful to be able to find just as much joy in BOTH!

Just reminding you to find joy in your kids, in your beloved, and to find joy IN LIFE! As Pollyanna said "There are over 800 glad texts" and if the Lord took the time 800 times to tell us to be glad, then we should, shouldn't we. :D

The Wife

"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord and not to men."
Colossians 3:23

God has placed women and marriages on my heart. I love to learn everything I can about being a better wife and helpmeet and I love to share and encourage other women in their marriages.

Some things to help you:

The Wife - By Washington Irving (a short read, but well worth it).
(HT: To Large Family Mothering)

Honor Your Husband a challenge by Fruit in Season
(HT: Devil Dog Wife)

Questions for a Godly Wife

Something that I have been really convicted of lately is that I am not treating my husband the way that I should. If he truly is the king of this house (as Christ is King of Kings), then I should be treating my husband like a king.

So how many readers did I just lose there? LOL!

But seriously, if the Bible says that I am to submit to my husband as unto the Lord, then should I not do that? Sarah called her husband lord and she is to be the example for us.

When my beloved asks me to do something, I need to remember it is as if the Lord Himself just asked me (do all things as unto the Lord). If the Lord were visiting me and He said that He wanted to take care of some business before dinner (and dinner was just being set on the table), would I argue with Him ... "Lord, you know how hard I worked making this dinner and it is ready now, can't you do that later?"...

LOL! OF COURSE NOT! I would put the dinner back in the oven and say "Of course Love, I will keep dinner warm for you and the kids busy until You are ready." And then I would keep dinner warm for him (not make him eat it cold because I was inconvenienced. (Please know I have not made my husband eat cold dinner because I was inconvenienced. LOL! It is just an example.)

It is funny that I have been telling the kids for months now that whenever Mommy or Daddy tell them something, they need to act as if Jesus is the One who asked them. It has really helped them with their attitude when I ask them to do something they are not really wanting to do. Silly Mommy! That is for YOU TOO! Whenever my husband asks my to do something, I need to act as if Jesus Himself has asked me. I am the bride of Christ. And whenever my husband wants to do something (or NOT do something), I need to act as if Jesus was the one who asked me to do something with Him. And when my husband doesn't want to do something, I need to remember to act as if Jesus did not want to do it.

Now of course, there is the appeal, and there is also the time to be silent and pray. I am still learning when to be silent and when to make an appeal. The praying part is helping with that. :) After all, you pray before making the appeal, you sometimes learn God wants you to keep silent. :) Either way I need to honor my husband, and in doing so, honor the Lord.

You Must....

I know our time as wives and mothers is short, so I try not to waste your time by directing you to too many sites. But this one...

THIS ONE...

you must, you must, you must, you MUST, you must stop what you are doing and go read this right now. Don't wait until later because you might forget or never get around to it. It only takes 3-5 minutes of your time. Give the kids some special coloring sheets and go read

When Queens Ride By