Fireproofing MY Marriage

Tonight is family pizza movie night. Because of my husband's work (long story), we had to be out of the house. So no pizza (who has gluten free pizza in restaurants?). And when we got home, right at bed time for JJ and movie time for the girls, the girls came into my bedroom and waited patiently while I put JJ down for the night.

Then the movie .... Fireproof.

It was interesting to see my oldest daughter's reactions during the movie. She laughed at all the things that make you laugh. And she cried at all the things that made you cry. She cried at the heart ache of divorce. She was joyful over the wife coming to Christ. And at the end of it all, she exclaimed "that was the best movie I have ever seen!"

I have this blog, in which I am as open and honest as I feel that I can be (in order to keep my family safe). Part of that is that I want a searchable record for myself and a record for my children. And part of that is that God might use me to help just one person. I never know because most of the people who read my blog are like me. VERY little time, searching just for something that I might be able to use in my family or home school, but never really having time to comment.

So now I share something I have not shared before now. I feel it is important in order to keep me humble and remember where I have come from, how far God has brought me, and hopefully to fireproof my children in their marriage that they will never have to face what we have.

You see, the movie is very dear to Brian and myself because we have been there. While we agreed before we married that divorce was never an option, separation almost tore us apart.

I was a very selfish person. And being a selfish person I was very lazy. Now I want to make clear that I am STILL selfish AND lazy, but God has done and is still doing a work in me. I have come a long way and have a longer way to go.

LONG story short, I have learned a few things.

First, I learned how to submit to my husband. I had thought I was submissive, and if you had asked Brian if I was submissive, he would have said yes with no reservations. God showed me what it meant to be truly and biblical submissive (and not just submissive according to what other ladies in the church said submission meant). In short, I am not a doormat, and you can search SUBMISSION at the top of the blog to read my views on submission. I am not perfect in this area, and I still daily fall short. But I know now when I am in the wrong. And it honors my husband when I submit fully with all my heart.

It is because I have learned what submission BIBLICALLY means that any of the rest of this makes any sense.

I have learned to met my husband's needs. God created me as a helper, a helpmeet to my husband.

I have learned that my husband NEEDS a clean house. Now you can search my archives and see my daily struggle with keeping a home. My house, while no longer completely messy, is not as clean as it can and SHOULD be for my husband. It did not get messy overnight and it will not get clean overnight. But I make time to not only clean, but get the kids to clean as well. And when we get something clean, we keep it clean. I see progress every day. And I will continue to make progress every day because my husband needs it.

I have also learned that I need to stop being so selfish and make sacrifices for my husband. Part of that means rubbing his feet, and doing so without getting anything in return. Brian has a hernia and several people all reported being able to avoid surgery by reflexology on certain points in the feet. So I have been trying to rub his feet every night. No matter how tired I am. And no matter how I would love for him to rub my feet just once. :)

I have learned to see that my husband shows me love in different ways. I could want something like a foot rub from my husband, but him rubbing my feet is not a way that he would show love to me. Sure, he would do it if I asked him. But I want him to just KNOW what I want. :) I have learned to share my wants/needs with my husband so he can fulfill them (if he is able). And if I do not share those wants/needs with him, I remember that he shows me love in different ways.

I have also learned that being a helpmeet means meeting his needs. I listen more carefully now for the little things he says he wants/needs done. Today, in passing, during the few minutes we actually got to spend together, he mentioned that he needed wool socks washed. In the past, i might have heard that and ignored it (too wrapped up in my selfishness to want to do laundry) or it gone in one ear and out the other (because, again, I would have been too wrapped up in my selfishness). So I did one load of laundry today. One load that will bless my husband when he has wool socks to wear tomorrow.

I also make him lunch now. You see, beforehand I was too lazy to worry about making a lunch for my husband (sounds so bad to say that I know). I would bring out something for the girls to eat, and snack on something myself, but felt it was too much effort to make something for my husband to eat. Because he works from his office, he can't really eat a meal, so I found a use for those Tupperware circle things with all the dividers for different veggies and a dip. I make a dip, put in some veggies, add some other fun finger foods and bring it in for him. He is able to snack all day on things MUCH healthier than candy and cookies.

And I think what has been the second most important change, only second to biblical submission, and only possible because of God...I smile. It sounds simply enough, but it means SO MUCH to my man. It is a literal NEED for him like breathing and water. And you know what, it has made my husband happier. It makes him secure in our marriage, especially during those times where he has two weeks worth of 17-20 hour workdays. It brings him a little bit of happiness and joy.

Actually all of these things so simple, yet when put together, help me make my marriage fireproof. With God's strength and daily grace, I am reminded of and able to do the simplest of things that didn't used to be so simple.

I won something!

Look what I won!!!! Isn't it ADORABLE!! And she made that out of a hand towel! Now I know to most that seems something VERY simple, but to me, that is amazing creativity! Be sure to check back on her blog as she promised me she was going to do a how-to! :)

What's In A Flu Shot?

This is funny and sad at the same time. I wish everyone knew the truth about what is put into vaccines.

FREEBIE! Lapbook

WOW! This looks like a GREAT freebie!

Great Inventors Lapbook and Study Guide

You might have to sign up for their newsletter (all free) in order to download the freebie. ALSO, the newsletter will inform you of the WEEKLY freebie that this site gives away, so since it is all free (membership, newsletter, weekly goodies), sign up and enjoy the freebies!!!

Current Web Readings

Freezer Cooking Links
This is a GREAT collection of all sorts of links on freezer cooking!

Napkin Set Tutorial
This is a GREAT two part tutorial (be sure to click on the second part) for napkins and a matching pouch!!

Dare To Make It - Holiday
This is a list of over 100 tutorials for making your own holiday gifts. This list is GREAT and I bet there are several new ideas for you here.

Homemade Lotion Bars
These are GREAT and so easy to make! I have not made them myself, but plan to soon! WITH THE KIDS!! :) That is how easy they are! :) This blog is great and I am really enjoying it! Thanks to Kathy for introducing me to this blog!!! :)

Lat Minute Mexican Beans and Rice
This blog is GREAT if you are wanting to learn more about your health and eat better. It is a weekly read (where I catch up on all the posts from the past week). This recipe looks so good!!

Cheaper to Wash Dishes by Hand or Dishwasher?
Interesting information! :) Good read!

Boxy Bag Tutorial
Oh this is a GREAT tutorial! GREAT pictures. Makes it look so easy that I might actually try this! (Although it scares me to death to do anything like this as I feel I can only sew flat things.) :)

Catching Up

It seems that lately I am running around and around, not having any time for much of anything.

Cleaning CLEANING C_L_E_A_N_I_N_G!

Then there is MM. She is having some health issues that we will be seeing the doctor for today. It might be related to JJ's issues. PLEASe pray. I have not dealt with this doctor before and am truly concerned for MM.

I have been keeping up on the girls and their cleaning. I read/heard somewhere that you cannot expect what you do not INspect. So I have been keeping up on their cleaning.

JJ has been INCREDIBLE with helping to clean and keep things clean! Moreso than I remember his sisters being at this age. I think having the example of three sisters and all their doing (plus they like to "teach" JJ to clean) has really been helpful. :)

Schooling has slowed down this week. I plan on taking the weekend to crack down and get some sort of plan! AA has REALLY been enjoying an atlas that we got for Christmas last year. I need to bring down the globe that goes with it so she can SEE where all these places she is reading about are. I also want to start doing Ambleside Oline in order to help me stay focused. And I really want to start using all the freebies I have!! Our homeschool group is doing a lapbooking seminar (where you actually MAKE one, not just hear about it), so I am EXCITED! I have so many FREE lapbook studies that I have not done yet. If there is interest, I will share what I learn. :)

I really need to get back into making menus. I had stopped when I started stockpiling, but now I have SO MUCH STUFF! that I need to go through, see what we have, and make a menu based on that. :)

I have also been learning about reflexology in order tohelp heal my beloved's hernia.

And I need to do gratitude journals for the girls! I have been wanting to do that for some time. I am also thinking of reading The Pineapple Story again.

Current Web Readings

Crocheted Sweet Hearts
THESE ARE ADORABLE!!! Imagine making these and then embroidering them with personalized messages "Mommy love you!" "Mommy and Daddy 4 ever!" You could also make several of these and put the letters of the alphabet on them for fun school time with spelling! YOu could even do their name (one letter on each heart) and make garland! Or just make GARLAND! I have been looking for one of these hearts for a long time (at least a FREE pattern). SO THANK YOU!!!

Free Ebook Thriving On Less: Simplifying In A Tough Economy
HT: Junie Moon

Melamine in fish?
Be sure to read the related articles!

Food Industry Challenges That Obama Needs To Address
GREAT video and commentary (text below the video) about how the food in our country contributes to debt and health issues.

Restaurants as well as list of ingredients to look for in order to avoid MSG
I hope that EVERYONE who reads this blog knows about the DANGERS of MSG and how it is hidden in so many foods! We always ask now to see an ingredients list before eating at a restaurant. And a note, while MSG is in the breaded chicken at Chick-Fil-A, the GRILLED chicken at the time of this post does NOT have MSG in it. You can request grilled chicken nuggets in the kids meals. LOVE Chick-Fil-A!!

Interview with an Ex-Vaccine maker
This is EYE OPENING! Just supports why we have chosen not to vaccinate. You MUST be informed and make an INFORMED decision about whether or not to vaccinate your children.

Agave Nectar, Not As Good As We Thought
I was introduced to agave nectar through the raw food movement as an alternative sweetener that did not raise blood sugar levels like honey did. We bought the "raw" form and used it and we loved it. Then a few weeks ago, I read on the herbal forum I am on about how it is no better than corn syrup. It shook me up, but I continued to use agave nectar. This article linked to here is the second article I have read about how it is not as natural of a food as we thought. In fact, I often used agave nectar to replace corn syrup in recipes. After reading the article, I can now see why I was able to. Very interesting (and short) read.

Family Fun?

How sad that this would happen on a day that I normally set aside to share something FUN to do as a family. But this is important.

Please go read this article and then contact Krispy Kreme (link in the article above). They need to hear from PEOPLE. When they don't hear from a certain amount of people, they do nothing. But the higher the number of people who respond, the more likely they are to do something about it.

Then pray. We fought hard as individual states THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE to make sure that our state was one that did NOT allow young girls to have an abortion without informing their parents. If the parents wanted to give that kind of freedom to their child, the could move to another state.

Isn't there something in the constitution that says that the government cannot supersede the laws of the state? Of course everything I learned about the constitution I learned in a public school, so there was a twisted agenda to it. But if I remember correctly, the states, when the constitution was written, was very careful to make CERTAIN that they still had a voice.

I guess for the next few weeks we will be learning about the constitution in our homeschool! :D

The Past Few Day's Doings

I don't know if it's hormones ... or the fact that I really fear losing my husband (I know he's in God's hands, but I am not ready to lose him yet), but the past few days have been very difficult emotionally. I have had sad moments in the past, but having Brian here and kids to care for, I was never really got terribly low. I got up and did what I had to to care for them.

But the day after Brian left (remember he is on a business trip), I was sad. The next day, I was even sadder. And I could feel myself slipping. I spent all day in bed and the kids watched hours of The Magic School Bus.

While I know there are people who have serious medical depression, I know that I am not one of those people. If you are, please seek medical help and know that it is OK to seek medical help when you need it.

So I prayed. I prayed telling God I did not want to be like this this next day. I prayed that God would help give me the motivation to get out of bed and home school the kids. That He would help me to clean the house. No prayer is too small to be lifted up to Him, and thus I fell asleep asking that the next day would be better with His strength.

God is faithful.

First, I received a phone call from a new friend! She was visiting her parents in the Springs, and called in response to an email about possibly getting together. In just a few hours. :) So I got up, showered and got dressed. The kids got ready and off we went. It was a WONDERFUL time and I have such good memories of those few hours together! :) It felt good to see the girls having so much fun! (And her little 1 year old boy happily kicking just like little boys do was a big help too.)

After getting home, my mom called and I had a great talk with her. She seems to always know when I am in need of a call and some laughs and encouragement.

AA finished her reading and copywork.

And I got the counter cleaned off in the kitchen. It was a little thing, but it was a step forward. Some thing was done. Some thing got cleaned. :)

Today, I got several loads of laundry done, the dining room, living room and den areas clean. And dishes are in the washer washing (my nightly servant)! :) The kids were GREAT helpers, each doing their part. And I have created a few new rules that I need to be consistent with and I know that if I do, the kids will finally get to a point where they are cleaning up not only after themselves, but after each other! Watching out for each other AND cleaning up...it's a good thing.

And having a cleaner house ... for me it's a good thing.

Prayer is so powerful. I am not a prayer warrior. I am honestly surprised that God answers any of my prayers. But I am so thankful that when I do cry out...He **IS** there. Some people might say Christianity is a crutch. I know that I heard that when I first became a Christian, do people even think that anymore? But honestly, HONESTLY, I don't know how I get by a day without Him. Yes, I can (and sadly often DO) go through the day by myself. But those days where I remember to invite Him in are some of my best days.

It is kinda like Disneyland. I go through the day perfectly content making mud pies in the backyard when there is a ticket for me and my family to go and enjoy Disneyland. All I have to do is remember to pick it up. Every day. Sometimes every moment! :D It's a joyful thing, and not a crutch at all.

Winner, Training Hearts, and Prayers Needed

Sorry, both Monday's and Tuesday's posts were scheduled.

I have not been doing well Monday and today.

Winner of the contest: Devildog Wife!!! :) That is what I like about DRAWING names instead of number generator. The first comment has a chance to win! (what number generator ever picks number one??) :D Email me privately with an address! (If I have not heard from you, I will email you when **I** am feeling better.)

I have not had a chance to create the next in the Training Hearts series. If anyone interested in those? If not, then I will not worry about posting it. I do these for myself and my children and only post them because I feel they might be helpful to others.

Also, my beloved is in DC for the week (comes back on the 20th -Inauguration Day. PLEASE pray for his safety while up in DC as well as his safe return home. I worry about him being in DC as well as flying during such a time in our nation's history. The security threat is Orange, which is not comforting.

And prayers for me to get better FAST would be good. It is NOT fun being a "single mother" trying to take care of four kids. My oldest, AA (she is about to turn 9 in a few weeks) has been a great helper (getting breakfast for everyone this morning, serving lunch and making sure everyone got down for naps), but **I** am the mommy and I cannot afford a sick day. Not right now.
Thanks.